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Yes, we had been in a rough patch for sometime with all of the changing happening around us, moving, starting residency, etc. Propagandists in the media throw around the word patriarchy as if it is synonymous with anything male. He should tell her that he will never convert, and that if she will not be happy unless he does, the relationship should end. I have plenty to do but I do it alone. Some of the guests talked about the importance of helping hard core mormons to be open and accepting to ALL their brothers and sisters in the church, regardless of sexual orientation. That said, there are also a lot of pricks inside the church, who fully deserve membership. You will only have a happy relationship if either you both believe in the Mormon Church, or both do not believe. Mormon's view marriages outside the temple to be counterfeit and you can't get into the temple without converting to the religion. I am a non Mormon.
She might not realize how important it is to compromise. The scriptures say that one of the main reasons good people don't join the church is because they just haven't been introduced to it. It will definitely take patience to work through any of this with her but it sounds like she's a pretty awesome person. Your mids is still young. Does she understand that for a long-term relationship to succeed that the partners must treat each other as equals. For me and the woman I'm in love with, we CAN discuss it without breaking down into spittle and hate. In any case; I can assure you from your post that he doesn't sound like he's being selfish; the behavior does sound like its residency related and not selfishness related. I would go ahead and make boundaries with the conversation about kids and church, if that is your preference.