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If you marry him, you are committing to accepting him without the church and all that this entails. I'm sorry, but I don't pity you all. I chanced upon this post because I was looking for help. He is married to his job right now. I think the secret to a successful marriage and a successful family is to respect each other's space and to enjoy all the good times no matter how trivial they are and to foucs on the positive aspects of the marriage an family life.
My beliefs have changed several times in my life, but not those things, so my interfaith marriage has lasted 25 years. The church will be in your bedroom, finances, and all your decisions. You will be able to best gauge where her beliefs stand in regards to the church if you listen to how she describes her mission.